Terms+To+Avoid

This is our ever-growing list of what NOT to write in an essay -- or in an good piece of writing, for that matter! If you are updating this list, be sure to explain a point beyond what I scrawl on the whiteboard!

- also using 'another' makes it sound like it's all about technique - also using this could make your essay sound "five paragraph-y"
 * **ANOTHER** - sounds too list-y, AP does not like this because it is not considered true analysis
 * **LASTLY/FINALLY** - this is inaccurate because when you use "finally" it is usually not your final point.

All three words are “list”ey, or too separated as sentences. Also, if you say “first” and “last”, as a reader you suggest that this was the actual first point and last points, where it could have been the second, and second to last, third, third to last, etc. etc.

Altogether, sentences will be less connected if it sounds too “list”ey; therefore, the words listed above should not be used.

- Updated by Emily and Alex Zhang
 * Don't use the word **WOULD;** it makes things impersonal between you and your reader. For example, "We **WOULD** go to a restaurant for dinner, then we **WOULD** go watch a movie." This makes the reader feel as though they were not there while all of this occurred, and they are forced to hear it from your memory. Instead, you could say, "We went to a restaurant for dinner then we watched a movie." - Crystal
 * **CLICHES**. Avoid using cliches (overused expressions) in your writing; these make your writing sound dated, and have little or no effect on the reader. You want your writing to sound fresh, cliches will drag down the writing and make the reader roll their eyes. Avoid phrases like "the eyes are the window to the soul" and "the eye of the storm". -Vanessa
 * Saying "the author tries".The author does not "try"; he or she purposely uses the technique or expository pattern. Whether it be narration, to have a personal connection to the events, or cause and effect, to express a relationship, the author decided how to express his message before writing it down. - Scott
 * Be careful about **Repetition;** you want to repeat something enough times so the audience knows that it's deliberate and not grammatical errors. For example: Childhood's eyes ventured out of their sheltered existence, childhood's ears could not understand what they were hearing, childhood's mind was overburdened. Repeating "childhood's" three times lets audience knows that repetition is used for effect and as a technique. Be sure to make it evident that repetition is used deliberately and not accidentally. - Emily Zhang
 * **Mention** makes what you are speaking about seem unimportant as mentioning something is usually done without prior thought (like you just thought of it off the top of your head). Use words that seem less casual such as "acknowledge" or "recognize". These words are more suitable for a non-fiction writing style. - Kevin Ma
 * Don't sum up **AND** use dialogue on the same topic. This is repetitive and has little to no extra effect on the reader. Choose the strategy that can better express your idea and use that one instead of the other. For example, **don't** describe what someone tells you and then add the direct quote after. Instead, you could choose to just include the quote if the actual words that were said had a larger impact than the meaning of the words. - Frank
 * Don't use too many 'me's as it adds a clunky feel to the sentence. For example, I looked around me and surrounding me was a sea of people. -Nataly
 * Do not have sudden transitions from general to specific. Make sure the transitions are clear and apparent. A sudden transition makes the writing seem chunky and unsettling. Instead, add in phrases that shows how time has passed. For instance, "As the year progressed..." -Wendy